


not what we should be

by extenuatingcircumlocution



Category: Gakuen Alice
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, On Hiatus, Slow Burn, i have a feeling this will get long, its been a while since ive posted fic at all actually, so slow, this is the first time im using ao3 to post fic, will add tags as things occur, yall i apologize in advance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-06-18 22:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15496239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extenuatingcircumlocution/pseuds/extenuatingcircumlocution
Summary: Mikan cannot for the life of her do anything right. Her roommate hates her, her best friend is distant, and she can't make up her mind about her future career. Nobody ever told her adult decisions would be so difficult to make.





	1. move-in day

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted on FFN (and will continue to be posted there because I like attention) but I like AO3 so much better so here I am.

_ So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits  _

_ I hope you have found a friend. _

_ Closing time-- _

_ Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. _

_ -“Closing Time” by Semisonic _

* * *

 

**CHAPTER ONE: MOVE-IN DAY**

**_After_** all the nail-biting excitement and frustrating counting down on the calendar, watching the campus approach really cemented it: Mikan was actually going to _college_.

It was all  _ real _ now, something that Mikan hadn’t really felt until that moment.

“Are we excited?” her mother asked, turning around in her car seat to grin. 

Mikan nodded but there was something fluttering in her stomach too, something that was nervous. 

“Now, remember not to go to any frat parties,” her father warned from the driver’s seat. “Don’t drink. Don’t take any pills that anyone offers you. Try to stay on top of your grades. Beware of boys--”

“Izumi,” her mother bit out. “You’re being overbearing. Besides, you already told her this before.” She turned to face her daughter again and smiled. “This is gonna be fun, okay? Don’t be worried. We’re only two hours away, after all, so if you need  _ anything _ , we’ll be there in a jif.”

“I know it’ll be fun,” Mikan said, sitting up straight to get a better look out the window. “I can’t wait!”

The feeling in her gut didn’t subside.

Mikan was going to the same college as her best friend Hotaru Imai. They were on different levels academically, with Hotaru being a prodigal genius and Mikan being a C student at best. Mikan made up for her academic failings by being an incredible athlete. She was the star on her high school track team and she received interest from colleges because of her abilities. 

She’d have gone to campus on Move-In Day with Hotaru except that Hotaru was already on campus, having attended a summer session to prep her for her engineering major. Meanwhile, all Mikan had to do to prep for the track program at Alice University was train at home for the summer to make sure she was in shape for the fall semester.

Suddenly remembering Hotaru, Mikan fished her phone out of her pocket and texted her friend telling her that she was only a few minutes away from the dorm.

“You’re gonna be mostly freshmen,” her mother was saying. “So you won’t have to worry too much about making friends… not that you’d worry… but everyone’s new so it won’t be a problem making friends with people who  _ aren’t  _ Hotaru.”

Mikan smiled at that. Her parents  _ loved  _ Hotaru. She was responsible, smart, well-behaved, straight-laced: the perfect influence. Her grandpa had even been overjoyed when he first met Hotaru, back when the girls were in third grade. He, like Mikan’s parents, had been excited to see if Mikan would absorb some of Hotaru’s qualities, but it didn’t exactly turn out that way.

What Mikan was worried about wasn’t  _ her  _ making friends: she was worried for Hotaru. Hotaru was a bit misanthropic (which was probably the main reason she was so straight-laced, in addition to the fact that Hotaru’s pet peeve was idiocy and getting drunk or high counted as idiocy), so she didn’t like mingling with people much. 

Hopefully, having a social butterfly for a roommate (ahem,  _ Mikan _ ) would help her befriend a couple of people. 

Hotaru texted back with two letters: 

_ OK. _

Izumi then shifted the car’s gears into park and took a deep breath, as if to prepare himself. “Alright, Yuka, Mikan. Time to move in.”

* * *

 

**_Mikan’s_ ** dorm number (231) had been sent to her already in the mail, so that she didn’t have to stop by the administration building and wait in a long line like the people who’d lost their assignment in the mail or who had experienced some sort of mistake. 

Her family had a box each in their hands, trudging to the front door of the E building. The halls inside of the building were crammed with newcomers and their families, making it difficult to shove through. 

“Maybe we should’ve tried to find the dorm first before we started taking in boxes,” Izumi said regretfully as he led the charge, looking out for the room number.

“Shoulda coulda woulda,” Yuka said. “Let’s just try to find the room, okay?”

After a lot of fighting, they found the room and dropped the boxes off on the floor. Hotaru wasn’t there, but her side of the room was already crowded with boxes. It was strange that Hotaru hadn’t unpacked yet, especially considering that she’d been there all summer.

Mikan and her parents went to and fro for about an hour, getting all the boxes and bags from the car to the dorm.

When they were finished, Izumi told them he’d go get them some lunch while Yuka and Mikan started unpacking.

When he’d gone and they were in the middle of making the bed, someone cleared their throat behind them.

Mikan spun around and saw Hotaru standing in the doorway. She was wearing a tweed dress and a little bow in her dark hair and  _ she looked just like she had when Mikan last saw her _ so Mikan ran to her best friend and hugged her tightly. She held on for as long as she was permitted, as long as it took until Hotaru finally peeled Mikan off. 

“I’m glad you found everything okay,” Hotaru said in her usual monotone.

“Yes,” said Yuka, still tucking in the comforter (the cutest one at the store--a pastel pink one littered with teddy bears and bows and hearts). “We had to push past a lot of people to get in here. I almost forgot how scary move-in day was. It’s been a while since I had my own move-in day in college.”

“We’ve already started unpacking,” Mikan said excitedly. “Come on in, we can unpack together.”

“Sure, I can help.” Hotaru walked in and closed the door behind her, muttering something about how noisy it was in the hall.

“Or you can get started on your own boxes,” Mikan teased, grabbing a box to start decorating her desk.

“I’ve already unpacked,” Hotaru said, helping Yuka shove the pillows into teddy bear pillowcases. “And your taste is as childish as ever. You know people will actually end up seeing your bed, right?”

Mikan rolled her eyes. “I figured you’d have already set up by now but your side’s all messy still. It’s so weird ‘cause I thought you were supposed to be the organized one.”

“I  _ am _ . That’s not my stuff.”

Mikan looked at the boxes stacked on the other bed. “What do you mean it’s not your stuff? Are you holding boxes for another girl until she arrives or…? What… I don’t get it.”

Hotaru rolled her eyes. “We’re not roommates, stupid.”

* * *

 

**_Yuka_ ** had politely excused herself to the hall, claiming that she needed some fresh air (which was silly because the hall was still full of people and had no fresh air to spare). Hotaru and Mikan were left alone in the room.

“I thought you knew already. I told you about Otonashi during the summer.” 

“I thought she was only a temporary roommate, like until the fall semester starts!” exclaimed Mikan. “I didn’t know the school didn’t allow roommate requests.”

“If they didn’t allow roommate requests, they wouldn’t have had a request form,” Hotaru said coldly. “I didn’t want to be your roommate, that’s all.”

“What?’ Mikan collapsed on her newly made bed, slumping over in a new found depression. The fluttering in her stomach from before was back, this time screaming at her, “I told you something bad would happen!”

“I didn’t want to be your roommate,” Hotaru repeated.

“Why not?” All of the excitement of the day was gone.

“Because you’re noisy and I’ll need to be able to study this semester. I can’t have you causing a ruckus or throwing accidental parties when I need to read up for a midterm.” The brusqueness of Hotaru’s voice sent a shiver down Mikan’s spine. She had always been so clinical.

“I thought we were gonna be roomies!” Mikan said, collapsing against her pillows. “We were gonna watch movies and go to classes together and every night would be a sleepover!”

Hotaru was arranging things on Mikan’s desk now, fiddling with a pencil cup. “This is college, Mikan, not a sleepover. I hope you got matched up with someone who’s willing to be as loud as you but that’s not me.” She turned around to offer the first and last smile of the day, a small and almost pathetic little thing. “We’re still best friends. I just don’t wanna be your roommate. We can have the occasional movie night, of course. This isn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be.”

Mikan wiped at the origins of tears, little wet drops threatening to enlarge and slip down her face if she didn’t get a grip.

“I’m… I’m fine!” Mikan said, sitting up straight. “I’m sure my real roommate is great and she’ll be my new best friend.”

Hotaru rolled her eyes. “You’ll get over it,” she said. “See you later.” 

She left then, quickly replaced with Yuka’s return. “Was everything okay? Did you work it out?”

Mikan shrugged. “I guess I’m just sad that she didn’t tell me before. I got all excited for nothing.”

“Well, not for nothing!” Yuka exclaimed. “Your roommate will be nice, probably, and you might get along really well! In fact, knowing you, you’ll be fast friends!” She picked up another box and cut it open. “Let’s get some more done; your father should be back soon and we want to have room to eat, don’t we?”

Mikan grinned and wiped at the last vestiges of tears from her face. She got back to unpacking with her mom, glad that her parents would always be on her side.

Mikan made up for her obliviousness (or what Hotaru liked to call “airheadedness”) with a strong spirit and tireless optimism, traits she inherited from her parents. Her mother was tough and never gave up, while her father was never downtrodden for long (Hotaru said this had less to do with a worldview and more to do with a very short attention span).

Thanks to them, Mikan never stayed upset.

In no time at all, Mikan and her mom were finishing up unpacking the essentials and Izumi waltzed into the room with a paper bag. 

“Let’s take a lunch break, huh?”

* * *

 

**_Hotaru_ ** texted Mikan about an hour after she had left:

_ Sorry I wasn’t clear before about the roommate thing. _

Mikan texted back with an emoticon,  _ >:P _ , and nothing else.

Yuka scolded her daughter for being petty. “You’ve been friends for years. You don’t want to be one of those girls that stops being friends as soon as high school ends, right?” 

Mikan gasped. “Mom! I didn’t say anything about ending our friendship. I would never do that. I just want her to realize she did something unforgivable, that’s all.”

Izumi laughed. “If you’re planning on making up with her eventually, isn’t it at least a little bit forgivable?”

Mikan scowled at him as they finished unpacking the last of the things. 

The final item on the unpacking agenda was to throw out the boxes and say goodbye.

Standing by the car, Mikan stared at her parents, unwilling to let them drive away. Suddenly, she was aware of the permanence of this. This wasn’t summer camp or a class excursion. Mikan wouldn’t be going back to live with her parents (though she could be returning for summer and winter break, since the dorms were closed then). This goodbye was a turning point. The end of something, the end of everything Mikan had known up to that point.

Sure, it wouldn’t be forever. They didn’t live too far away.

Still.

“Come on, Mikan, don’t cry,” Izumi said. Mikan hadn’t even realized she’d been crying.

“I’ll call you every weekend!” Yuka promised. “And we’ll send you care packages!” 

“If you get homesick, we’ll come to visit, okay?”

“We’ll miss you too.”

Mikan’s vision was getting blurred by her tears but as they slowly started trickling down her face, she could see that her parents were crying too, smiling widely at her.

“Oh no,” she muttered. “We’re all crying.”

“Of course! You’re my baby. I don’t wanna say goodbye!” Yuka then reached out to embrace Mikan. “But I know I have to. You’re growing up and I am so proud of you.”

“If I could, I’d keep you home forever,” Izumi said, wrapping both Yuka and Mikan in his arms. “But you need to leave the nest eventually.”

Mikan stayed there for a while, held tightly by both of her parents for a long time. It must have been at least a few minutes that they were hugging before they slowly parted and Yuka rubbed desperately at her cheeks to dispel the tears.

“I’ll miss you, Mikan!” she said, her voice breaking. “Remember: it’s not forever!”

Izumi opened the car door and beamed. “We’ll keep your room clean for you,” he promised. “You are always welcome back home.”

“I love you!” Mikan said, wiping at her own tears.

And then the last car door was slammed shut and they pulled out from the curb, Yuka waving all the while. Izumi honked once as a final farewell and then they were out of sight, around the bend.

And Mikan was alone.

No parents, no best friend to be her roommate.

The anxiety in her gut started laughing at her. “I  _ told  _ you.”

Her phone vibrated and Mikan checked it once her face was dry, only to see a text from Hotaru:

_ When you’re ready to be mature, I’m in room 214, in the middle of the hall.  _

Mikan decided to ignore the text and go back to her own dorm. She was  _ not  _ ready to be mature.

At this point, the halls were emptier (though there were still a few parents running about with boxes) and most of the doors were closed.

Her own dorm-room was closed as well and since she hadn’t closed it, she assumed her new roommate was busy unpacking inside.

Mikan prepared her friendliest face and got ready to greet her new best friend.

She opened the door and saw that the other side of the room was decked out with black and green and magenta. To contrast the fairy lights above Mikan’s bed was a poster of some attractive boy band, the members of which were decked in black leather. The comforter on the other bed was dark and elegant, like something out of a fancy catalogue. Instead of a teddy pattern, there were simple stripes. The girl in the room was also more elegant, with dark hair cropped at the chin except for two longer strands that continued into unique curls. She looked fashionable, wearing black shorts and a light denim jacket over a mint blouse. 

As soon as Mikan entered, the girl looked at her with intense green eyes.

“Oh, hi,” Mikan said. “You’re my roommate, right?”

The girl straightened up and placed a hand on her hip. “Yeah, I guess. You’re Mikan, then? You’re gonna need to throw out that comforter because--no offense--it’s embarrassing. As your roommate, I veto it.”

Mikan wondered why everybody seemed to hate her comforter. “It’s not embarrassing, it’s  _ cute _ .”

The curly girl rolled her eyes and continued unpacking. “ _ Embarrassing _ , but whatever. It better not influence anyone’s opinion of  _ me _ .”

Why did everyone hate teddy bears? Teddy bears weren’t capable of hate--they were symbols of love, like the Care Bears. Who on Earth could hate a  _ Care Bear _ ? It just wasn’t possible.

Though, Mikan had her own teddy bear to match her comforter, an old and somewhat mangy thing she called Mr. Bear that sat on her bed, judging everything and everyone. He looked a little bit mean, even Mikan could admit. Mr. Bear was probably the only teddy bear capable of hatred and Mikan found some sort of ridiculous solace in that he probably hated the new roommate.

The roommate didn’t seem to like  _ him _ much either. “And throw that in the garbage too. It’s old and kinda ugly.”

Mikan was getting irritated. “You know what’s ugly? Your perms,  _ Permy _ !”

The girl dropped her pillow in shock. She grumbled something under her breath that sounded an awful lot like “Why does everyone call me that?” before taking a deep breath and looking Mikan head on. “The name’s  _ Sumire _ , and you should  _ know  _ because I wrote it on the  _ door  _ already.”

“We’re allowed to write on the door?” Mikan asked, surprised. 

“On the whiteboard, idiot.”

“Why didn’t you say so,” Mikan griped, looking at the other side of the door where Sumire had scrawled her name out in beautiful cursive, the kind you saw on aesthetic videos. “Should I write my name too?”

“Uh, yeah,” scoffed Sumire. “The whiteboards are there for a reason.”

Mikan was almost hit on the head by the marker her roommate tossed her way, but all those years of building her reflexes had balanced out with her clumsiness so she only fidgeted with it for a second before holding it and writing her own name on the whiteboard.

It wasn’t nearly as beautiful as Sumire’s. In fact, it was rather ugly, especially under Sumire’s beautiful name. Mikan always had plain handwriting but the effort to make her name pretty backfired completely. After rewriting it three times, she finally gave up and left it looking somewhat normal. Now her name only looked boring, instead of ugly,  under Sumire’s fancy writing.

She returned to the room, closing the door behind her. “Did you parents already leave?” she asked, sitting on her bed. 

“Yeah, an hour ago.”

“Mine too. They left just now.” Mikan tried not to focus on how that thought broke her heart. Instead she remembered how incredible her last day with them had been. “It was actually really cool because we left kinda late but we still made it. My dad wanted to make me a nice breakfast--well, my mom did too but she sucks at cooking--so we ended up eating pretty late. Anyway, we started going and we had to go through a bit of the countryside and saw a lot of cows. Isn’t that weird? Anyway, we eventually got to the dorm--before you were unpacking, but your stuff was here--so for a while I thought your things belonged to my best friend Hotaru, but it turns out Hotaru is rooming with someone else and she just didn’t tell me. Anyway, my parents and I were unpacking after my dad brought us lunch… or dinner… or both, whatever… Is that called dunch? Linner? I think I like dunch. Well, we were eating  _ dunch _ before we unpacked everything. It’s good you weren’t there because we took up a lot of space. I really like pad thai too so that made it better--”

“Oh my  _ God _ , do you have, like, an off button or something?”

“That’s so rude!” Mikan exclaimed. “I’m just trying to make conversation.”

“If that’s what a conversation with you is like, I’d rather not converse, thanks.”

Mikan was slowly realizing that Sumire was not going to end up her new best friend.

“Jeez. Sorry.” Mikan looked at her own side of the room and let herself smile in pride. It was  _ cute _ , no matter how embarrassing everyone else thought it was.

“You know what,” Sumire said, slowly, almost slyly. “It’s getting dark out, right?” Mikan glanced out the window and saw that it was true: the night had arrived, making the fluorescent lighting of the room all the more bright. “Well, I read online that this is the best time of the day to take a shower because everyone else is studying or getting ready to settle in. Nobody wants to take a shower so late in a public bathroom. But the cool thing is that Hall E is an all-girls dorm.”

“It is?” Mikan asked, surprised. 

“Yeah. No boys. So it’s safe to go and take a shower before winding down for bed. I’m probably going to go take a shower after I unpack but I’d recommend going now before all the hot water’s gone.”

“Really?” Mikan smiled. Maybe Sumire wasn’t so bad. She seemed really helpful now. Maybe she was just shy, in her own way. “Thanks for telling me. That’s really nice of you.” 

“No problem,” Sumire said, turning back to her boxes. Her voice had just an edge of a rush to it when she added, “Hurry up before the hot water runs out. At this rate, I’ll probably have to shower tomorrow. Gross.”

Mikan grabbed a towel (a polka-dotted orange one with a penguin on it--so cute…) from the top of her wardrobe.

“Don’t forget that nice big toiletries bag you have right there,” Sumire said. “It’s a good idea to get your nightly routine done with all at once so you don’t have to go back.”

“Good idea, Permy. Thanks!”

“Here to serve,” Permy muttered.

Taking a shower actually wasn’t as scary as she thought it’d be. Permy had been right: there weren’t many other girls in the bathroom. She was drying herself when it suddenly occurred to her that she hadn’t brought a change of clothes.

“Shoot.” She tried to come up with a solution and in the end she tucked her towel around her like a dress (though she was always bad at tucking the towel comfortably without it slipping a whole lot). She brushed her teeth and gathered all her dirty clothes in her hands and started going down the hall to her room. At this point there weren’t any people in the hall, having all retired to the comfort of their dorms, so Mikan felt safe.

That is until she realized she was carrying way too much. Her clothes kept getting pushed down her chest by the weight of the bag and the towel was slipping.

Eventually, about halfway through the hall, she had dropped all of her things--the bag and the clothes--in a desperate effort to push her towel back up.

Luckily for her that was also the same moment that a door opened and a boy was looking at her intensely (and judgmentally). Mikan rushed to tuck her towel in again. He was only a little bit cute, with black hair and red (red?) eyes and an unpleasant frown. The frown really detracted from his cuteness.

“What are you looking at?” she snapped.

He looked at the floor, where all of her clothes and underwear had fallen, in addition to the sparkly toiletries bag she had dropped. “Uh…”

“The answer is _ nothing _ !” she hissed, bending down to pick up her things. 

“Sure thing. By the way, nice towel, Polka Dots,” he said sarcastically. Mikan’s blood boiled and her cheeks turned hot.

“Thank you!” she shouted indignantly. “Orange is my favorite color!”

She shoved everything back into her arms and rushed down the hall (still barefoot, which was incredibly inconvenient because the floor was carpeted, so who knew what kind of germs were hiding in the fibers? On the plus side, if it had been a tiled floor that would’ve been grosser and colder). 

She knocked on room 231 with her shoulder, probably bruising it. 

Permy opened the door pleasantly, looking down to see the towel start to slip again. Mikan dropped everything yet again to shove it back up under her armpit. Permy backed away before any of Mikan’s belongings could fall on her.

“You lied! Hall E is  _ co-ed _ !” Mikan yelled. She faintly heard a snicker from down the hall (probably from that  _ jerk  _ who called her Polka Dots) and resolutely slammed the door as soon as she had kicked in all of her belongings. “Why would you lie to me? I thought we were friends!”

“Who told you that?” Permy asked, a tinge of disgust in her tone. “I can’t be friends with someone who dresses like she’s a character from the Disney Channel.”

“Why are you such a jerk?” Mikan spat.

Permy shrugged. “In my DNA, I guess.” She picked up a plastic bag with a change of clothes and a toiletries case inside. “I’m gonna go take a shower now.” She opened the door. “Also,” she said, ducking her head in to see Mikan. “These dorms don’t have limited hot water so you don’t need to rush and you might want to get yourself a smaller toiletries bag. I don’t think make-up or cleansers or creams will ever fix all that ugly on your face.” She smiled sweetly and left. “Toodaloo!” she said before closing the door.

Mikan changed and angrily typed out a message to Hotaru:

_ I’m never forgiving you for this!!! _


	2. orientation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems like Sumire is set on sabotaging Mikan's entire life.

_ Everybody thinks that girl's so fine. _

_ Everybody's like "I'll make her mine." _

_ Everyone thinks she's a beautiful find. _

_ But I think that she's not so nice. _

_ -“Do Wah Doo” by Kate Nash _

* * *

 

**CHAPTER TWO: ORIENTATION**

**_Sumire_ ** wasn’t any kinder to Mikan after that first day. Mikan felt a bit like an idiot for hoping that it was all just some sort of misunderstanding. Nope--Permy was just a jerk.

The next important day after Move-In Day was Orientation, where incoming freshmen went on tours and were introduced to the campus. Hotaru had texted Mikan, telling her that she’d accompany her on Orientation if she wanted. Mikan responded with a thumbs down emoji.

She refused to forgive Hotaru for abandoning her and leaving her to deal with Permy, a girl who scoffed enough to be a caricature.

So Mikan had to deal with Orientation alone, which was fine because Mikan was  _ good  _ at making friends. Permy was an exception to the rule, sure, but Mikan was even able to befriend  _ Hotaru  _ of all people, so she considered herself a little bit of a friendship expert.

Orientation was split into groups to make the experience more intimate. The groups were decided by room numbers. 200-240 were divided into two groups by splitting up the odd room numbers and the even ones. 

Her group, the Purple Group, was comprised of the odds and was to meet at the front of Hall E, on the lawn, at 9:30 in the morning.

Mikan was prepared: she had set her alarm for 8:30, laid out her outfit for tomorrow, packed her backpack with snacks and anything she might need. The morning was destined to be perfect.

Until Permy turned her phone’s ringer off as Mikan snoozed away. As a result, Mikan didn’t hear the vibrating of the alarms so she woke up at 9:27, when Permy cleared her throat loudly from the doorway and coyly greeted her with, “Good morning. Make sure to turn your ringer on next time.” before closing the door behind her.

Mikan had never gone through her routine faster, getting dressed in a matter of seconds and leaving her room a mess, brushing her teeth without toothpaste and shoving a stick of gum in her mouth.

She didn’t even have time to brush her hair; the best she could do was run her fingers through it as she raced through the hall and down the stairs.

The Orientation leader was in the middle of talking to the large group (and Mikan was horribly disappointed to find that she arrived at a dismal 9:34) when she ran up to them, gasping for breath.

Permy snickered when she saw her and Mikan sent her worst death glare at her. Unfortunately, Mikan’s death glare was a bit pathetic, so Permy just laughed harder.

“Mikan Sakura?” the group leader asked from up in front.

“Huh?” Mikan looked around until she made eye contact with a friendly bespectacled boy in a polo shirt. “Oh, yes! Mikan Sakura! Sorry I’m late--my alarm didn’t go off--”

“No excuses,” Permy scolded. “We’re in college now. That kind of behavior won’t be acceptable anymore. Time to grow up.” She ran her eyes up Mikan’s outfit before saying, “And I doubt a Spongebob hoodie will help much with that.”

Mikan glared at her even more, especially when the whole group started giggling.

“It’s no big deal,” the group leader said. “We barely started and you made it before we took off, so it’s okay. Just make sure to set your alarms properly from now on, okay?”

Mikan nodded solemnly. 

“Anyway, as I said before, I’m Yuu Tobita and I’m your RA, in addition to being your orientation guide. This is my second year at Alice and I’m a political science major. I hope to one day be a foreign ambassador and help bring peace and cooperation to the world. Being a freshman can be pretty scary but if you do your best to keep up with classes and make some friends, I think you’ll have a very successful time at Alice.

“And I actually have a way to help us get a little closer to that. We’re going to do a little activity so we all get to know each other better. Who knows? You might be standing amongst your future best friends!” Mikan narrowed her eyes at Permy, thinking,  _ over my dead body _ . “Alright, so we’re going to go around in a circle and introduce ourselves. Hopefully, you’ve become somewhat acquainted with your roommates already so this should be pretty easy. Here, I’ll go first:

“Hi, I’m Yuu Tobita. My roommate’s name is Mochu and he isn’t here with me today because he’s leading another group--the Blue Group. I’m a political science major in my second year and one interesting fact about me is that I’m a pretty good cook.” Yuu beamed at the group. “Let’s start at the front, okay?”

The first girl to introduce herself had dyed pink hair and seemed very timid. “Uh, hi, everyone. I’m Anna and my roommate’s name is Nonoko.” She gestured to the girl next to her, whose hair was dyed midnight blue. “I’m an art major and I’m also really good at cooking.”

The girl next to her--Nonoko--took the reins next, about as shy as her roommate. “I’m Nonoko and Anna’s my roommate. I’m a chemistry major and believe it or not Anna and I just met yesterday but we’re already becoming best friends.” Mikan didn’t doubt that. They seemed very alike, what with their dyed hair and quiet dispositions. She was pretty jealous because her roommate was  _ awful _ .

A few more kids introduced themselves until a familiar voice started talking and Mikan felt her face heat up instantly.

“I’m Natsume and Ruka is my roommate.” The boy from yesterday gestured halfheartedly to the blond boy next to him. 

He didn’t say anything else.

“Um,” Yuu started. “Would you like to share with us your major and an interesting fact about yourself?”

Natsume exhaled audibly before finally conceding, “No, not really.”

Yuu laughed it off, chuckling nervously. “Alrighty, then!”

Mikan probably could’ve suggested to Natsume  _ plenty  _ of interesting things to say about himself, like that he had  _ red eyes _ and that he was a huge jerk, but she was in the back of the group and had no such opportunity.

Instead, Ruka, Natsume’s blond roommate, started speaking. “Hey, I’m Ruka. I’m studying to become a veterinarian and Natsume’s my roommate and best friend. An interesting thing about me is that I don’t have a favorite animal because I love them all.”

Natsume snickered at that, receiving an elbow in the gut from his best friend.

Mikan couldn’t help but overhear her roommate mutter to another girl about how “hot” those two were. She rolled her eyes with spite.

Sure enough, it was soon Permy’s turn. “Hi,” she greeted everyone, waving at the crowd with confidence. “I’m Sumire, a forensic science major. My roommate is the  _ worst _ ,” she said, gesturing behind her to Mikan. “And an interesting thing about me is that there’s a party at my dorm, room 231, at 9 later tonight.”

Mikan gasped. “Permy! You didn’t tell me anything about that!”

Permy rolled her eyes. “I don’t really need your permission, do I?”

“It’s my room too!”

Permy cleared her throat, turning her attention to the group again. “Whatever. You should all come.” 

A few more people introduced themselves until it was finally Mikan’s turn. By this point, Mikan had lost all her excitement. She no longer felt much like a friendship expert. Befriending Hotaru had probably been some sort of weird fluke.

“Uh, hi,” she said dejectedly. Everyone’s eyes were on her and Mikan felt self-conscious. She hated feeling self-conscious. She almost  _ never  _ felt self-conscious. She saw Permy snicker with her friend in the corner of her eye and decided that she’d had enough. She couldn’t give up just because her roommate was  _ the worst person ever _ . She would  _ not _ be discouraged. She put a grin on her face. “Hi, everyone! I’m Mikan, my roommate’s Permy--or, uh, Sumire--and an interesting thing about me is that I don’t hate  _ anything _ . And… I’m not sure what I’m majoring in yet.”

“That’s because you’re an idiot,” Sumire whispered.

Mikan glared at her again. It was becoming rather tiresome. “No, actually. It’s because I don’t know what I want to do with my life yet. I have plenty of time to figure it out.”

Yuu smiled at her. “That’s awesome, Mikan!” he said. “It’s important to take advantage of the time you spend at Alice, and experiment with subjects to see what you like best. Take things at your own pace.”

With that, Mikan sent a triumphant smile in Sumire’s direction and it was Sumire’s turn to glare.

The problem was that Sumire had a much more successful death glare than Mikan did.

* * *

 

**_The_ ** orientation was a lengthy one, with Yuu showing them about the campus and introducing them to some counselors or administrators they encountered on their tour.

Mikan was walking at the back of the crowd still, struggling to make conversation with her group-mates.

In high school, people liked talking to Mikan. She was loud and outgoing and even shy people appreciated having someone to talk to. Unfortunately, college was different. These people thought college was all about  _ them _ and they seemed to all have sticks up their butts… especially Permy and her new entourage of chattering girls.

Despite Permy’s rudeness though, Mikan was jealous. Hotaru was still her only friend and now she didn’t even have that anymore. 

Yuu was friendly enough but he was the leader of the group and even Mikan could understand that having the tour-guide as your only friend was embarrassing.

In the midst of this foreign loneliness, Mikan felt the urge to text her old bestie. She gave in, trying not to sound too desperate.

_ i need you!!! where r u???? _

Okay, that was pretty desperate, but Mikan was really starting to feel lonely, being friendless for the better part of an hour.

She waited for an answer while paying half-hearted attention to Yuu’s account of the founder of Alice University. She hardly noticed the blond boy at her shoulder until he whispered, “Hi.”

Mikan jumped a bit in surprise but quickly composed herself when the blond boy (Ruka, she remembered from earlier) and Pervert Boy From Yesterday laughed at her response.

“Hi,” she said.

“I’m Ruka and this is my friend Natsume,” Ruka said, smiling. He seemed nice enough, with earnest blue eyes and a very soft looking t-shirt on. “We’re in 215.” 

“Hi,” Mikan said again, looking nervously at Natsume.

He seemed unimpressed with her, offering only to say, “Hey, Polka Dots.”

Mikan flushed and felt the sudden desire to sock him with her bag. “Don’t call me that,” she hissed. He raised a very short eyebrow in response but said nothing.

“So, you’re Mikan, right?” Ruka asked, quickly changing the subject. “Cool hoodie.”

Mikan looked down at her yellow hoodie, the one Permy had insulted just a short time ago. Spongebob was winking, a big grin on his freckled face, surrounded by bubbles. “Thank you,” she replied with a smile. “It’s my favorite. I love Spongebob.”

Ruka nodded. “Spongebob used to be our favorite--” he gestured between himself and Natsume. “--cartoon… Like, we watched it all the time.”

Yuu had just wrapped up his description of the statue they were surrounding, and now the group was starting to walk toward their next destination. “And if you come this way…”

As they walked, Natsume trailing a bit behind, Ruka continued to chat with Mikan. “I’m actually really shy--we both are--but when you spoke, it really struck a chord with me.”

“What?” Mikan did a double take, staring at Ruka incredulously. “What did I say?” She didn’t remember saying anything cool or inspiring. She didn’t have a major, sure, but that was actually something she was self-conscious about, even after Yuu’s validating praise. She’d mostly just been arguing with Permy.

“You said you didn’t hate anything. I think that’s really cool and--”

Natsume cut in rudely, “--He doesn’t hate anything either and was wondering if you wanted to get a coffee with him or something.” Mikan turned a bit to look at him behind her. He looked incredibly uninterested and Mikan was starting to realize that he was willingly acting the part of a third wheel.

He didn’t seem very shy to her.

Ruka hit Natsume’s arm with little strength and quickly turned back to Mikan. “Well, uh, yeah, to put it bluntly.”

“Uh…” Mikan hesitated. “You want to go on a date?”

Ruka reddened. “Well--I mean, if you wouldn’t mind--it’s just--you’re really--I mean, you’re cute and all and--”

Natsume groaned a little, his voice sounding more far away than before. With a glance Mikan could see that he was trying to trail even further behind them.

“I--okay.”

“What?” Ruka blurted. 

“Yes,” Mikan said, trying to smile cutely. “I don’t mind.”

“Awesome,” Ruka breathed out.

“Awesome,” echoed Natsume from behind them, in a deep monotone.

* * *

 

**_“Cut_ ** the crap, Hannah Montana,” Permy spat. “I  _ saw  _ you talking to them.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t talk to them,” Mikan said. “I only said that I don’t get why you’re mad.”

Mikan spent the rest of Orientation talking to Ruka (with Natsume haunting their steps all the while), finding out about his classes and major. Apparently, Ruka had pressured Natsume to apply to the same schools and when they both got into Alice, Ruka had pressured Natsume to actually commit and come with him. Mikan was a bit struck by how many of Ruka’s anecdotes involved Natsume, directly or indirectly. Even when he was talking about himself, Ruka would turn just a bit to ask Natsume, “Isn’t that right?” so that Natsume could return with a noise of assent.

As soon as Ruka dropped her off at her dorm room and she closed the door behind her, she had been accosted by Permy’s jealous wrath.

“Why I’m mad?” repeated Permy, her eyebrows furrowing even further. “Of course I’m mad! They’re both out of your league and I have been eyeing them all day. I’m  _ furious _ ! Just stay away from them and we won’t have any problems, okay?”

Mikan figured that was a bit of a ridiculous statement. After all, Permy had been unpleasant from the get-go, even before she saw Natsume and Ruka. To suggest that things would be okay if Mikan just avoided them was a bit out there. 

“That’d be hard to do since Ruka asked me on a date,” Mikan said, trying to sound braggadocious. “We’re going out tomorrow for coffee.”

“You little--” Permy took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “Alright, okay, I’m calm.” She opened her eyes to look back at Mikan. “Naturally, you’re free to hang out with and date whoever you want.”

“Thank you,” Mikan said pointedly.

“But there’s no rules anywhere saying I’m not free to sabotage you.”

Mikan sighed. “I really thought we were getting somewhere.”

“Get this in your head, Sakura,” Permy said, venom in her voice. “We’re not friends and it’ll be a cold day in Hell when  _ that  _ changes. We’re just not compatible. I’m intelligent and ambitious and attractive and loveable and you are… none of those things. You’re annoying and weird and you talk in your sleep.”

Mikan already knew that from Hotaru, but it still didn’t feel good to hear it from Permy.

“What kind of things did I say?” she asked nervously.

Permy ignored her. “Ruka Nogi is a hot piece of ass. I managed to chat with him for a little while but he’s the shy type so I didn’t get very far. His buddy Natsume is even hotter somehow and even harder to talk to. For some reason, they both were talking to  _ you  _ the whole time.”

Mikan didn’t say anything about how Natsume didn’t engage in their conversation much, instead opting to argue, “I think the reason is because I’m friendly and you aren’t.”

Permy stood still, hands on her hips. “What you see from me isn’t what my friends see from me and it’s definitely not what Natsume and Ruka see from me. I don’t act the same around everyone I know. You might wanna try that sometime.”

Before Mikan could say anything, Permy was out the door, saying something about getting snacks.

Mikan collapsed onto her bed as soon as Permy left, checking her phone just to discover that Hotaru had left her on read. Meanwhile, Ruka (who had demanded Mikan’s number) had texted a very sweet message:

_ Hey, Mikan. It’s Ruka. Can’t wait for coffee tomorrow! :) _

Mikan sighed, feeling that familiar twinge in her gut that warned her that things were only going to get tougher.

After all, there was a stupid party at her dorm tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter before I had my own college orientation. I based this experience on my older sister's orientation which was a lot different from mine.  
> Also sorry for the late update. I have several chapters written out already but I wanna pace myself.  
> Hope you enjoyed <3


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